Days 453 and 454: 8/15/20-8/16/20

Joe Biden sent me one of Donald Trump’s emails to fundraise off of, while Trump himself declared himself deserving of a Nobel Peace Prize and begged me to tell him he was doing a great job.


For all new readers: Welcome! I am currently on the mailing lists of Joe Biden and Donald Trump, though I have previously been on the mailing lists of 28 Democratic candidates! This blog breaks down recent emails with charts and excerpts. If you already know all of this, feel free to skip to the next chart!

It took some time for the Trump emails to kick in, so I started officially tracking his list on July 7. I have been tracking Biden’s for longer, but I will start comparing them as of July 7. All of these emails are going to a new email, and I have not donated, filled out surveys, signed petitions, or otherwise interacted with either candidate’s emails.

The rules I try to follow for the various categories are laid out in The Framework.

Wow. Remember, this is a 2-day span.

Donald Trump sent 18 emails over the weekend, while Joe Biden splurged with just 8.

So many surveys!

While Biden was gearing up for the Democratic National Convention, Trump remained screaming about Kamala Harris, screaming about Fake News, and screaming about why I should join his clubs. He also sent me survey after survey asking for my opinion on how he was doing, because unlike those Fake News polls that question a representative slice of America, his poll was only going to ask his top supporters and therefore was going to be a much more accurate depiction of the country as a whole.

Because we’ve all learned that if you don’t love Trump, you’re not part of this country.

Trump also told me he really wanted to give me a signed photo of himself and he hoped I’d like it. If not for the $75 charge and list of all his top supporters (BIG NEWS: I’M ON THAT LIST!), it would almost have been like a soldier trying to give his photo to his sweetheart before leaving for war.

Too bad it’s 2020 and the sight of his miscolored face makes me gag.

Biden, on the other hand, offered me a Biden-Harris sticker if I donated anything at all to his campaign.

Trump was excited?

Biden remains excited for the convention, grateful for my support, and hopeful for my continued support. Trump, on the other hand, is excited that he finally has earned himself a Nobel Peace Prize, so he can be just as good as that Black guy who came before him.

President Trump has accomplished the impossible.

In a HUGE breakthrough, the United States of America, Israel, and the United Arab Emirates signed a HISTORIC Peace Agreement that will usher in a new era of peace and security in the Middle East.

Unlike past administrations, OUR President is securing peace through diplomacy, not endless wars. They said it was impossible, but as usual, President Trump got it done.

An achievement this HISTORIC deserves to be recognized – some might even say it’s NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WORTHY.

It’s no surprise that the Fake News won’t give him any credit (they NEVER do), so we’re taking matters into our own hands and launching an Official Petition to nominate President Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Team Trump 2020

I’m a bit confused as to how this solves the Middle East crisis if it doesn’t include Palestine, but can someone please cut out a gold circle, write “NOBEL PEACE PRIZE (the real one)” on it, and hand it to him? That might solve a lot of problems.

Or maybe it won’t, because there’s one more thing on Trump’s mind constantly…

Can you believe it, Amy?

Crooked Hillary is already making plans to infiltrate the White House if Sleepy Joe wins the Election. She’s crazy!

First, she served Lyin’ Obama and was a TOTAL FAILURE as Secretary of State.
Next, she DELETED 33,000 emails from her ILLEGAL private server.
Then, the American People REJECTED her pathetic bid for President in 2016.
After that, she pushed the Russia Collusion-Delusion narrative to excuse her abysmal loss.
And NOW, Crooked Hillary is trying to help JOE BIDEN DESTROY AMERICA.

Hillary still can’t get over the fact that she LOST BIG TIME to President Trump, so now she’s trying to team up with her fellow CROOK, Joe Biden, to TAKE OUR President DOWN.

We can’t let that happen, Amy. We love this Country too much, and we know you do too.

August is halfway over and we need to pick up the pace, or we risk a future with HILLARY CLINTON in it. It’s CRITICAL that we stay on track this month, which is why President Trump has decided to REACTIVATE your 500%-MATCH OFFER for ONE MORE HOUR.

Team Trump 2020

How dare Hillary tell Biden she was willing to continue serving the country she loves, even after they did her so dirty. How dare she.

Trump really needs me in his club to feel complete.

Biden pulled out the “Kamala is the meanest, most horrible, MOST LIBERAL…” email from Trump’s pile and sent a screenshot of it my way, asking me to donate because this is the trash he’s up against.

When he’s not using Trump to campaign, Biden was also sending me GIFs telling me that it should inspire me to send $5 (or $46 to my donor account).

Joe and Kamala
It’s a good GIF

It inspires me to feel a little hopeful that the country might get an adult at the helm again, but it’s not a money-grabbing GIF.

Still, it’s nice to see a show of power, with complimentary suits and sleek face masks. I approve of their choices.

Trump loves his emails.

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