Farewell Wayne Messam

At 10:36 AM ET, on Wednesday, November 20, 2019, Wayne Messam, Mayor of Miramar, Florida suspended his Presidential campaign.

Unfortunately, Wayne did not ever send me a single email, and I had minimal data on him. Luckily for him (and me), that Discord guy who makes my art for these farewell posts was also a huge Wayne supporter and offered to guest-write this post. Take it away, Elysium!

Hello, my name is Elysium, and like Aimin I have been an experienced writer for over twenty years minutes. I’m writing here today to talk about my (imaginary) nom and savior, Wayne Martin Messam.

I know everyone knows who Wayne is, but it is possible there maybe a few But Their Emails! readers who mix him up with another candidate. Wayne Messam is best known for being the backup wide receiver for the 1993 National Championship winning Florida State Seminoles. His best game was in the 1996 Orange Bowl where he had 6 receptions for 103 yards in a 31-26 victory over Notre Dame. For a career he caught 62 passes for 793 yards and four touchdowns. Surprising everyone, he went undrafted in the 1997 NFL Draft: he was picked up by Cincinnati but was released shortly after.

With his football career no longer an option, Wayne started a construction company with his wife, Angela. Being successful in business, he started working in politics. After winning a city commission seat for Miramar, Florida, in 2011, he went on to be its mayor in 2015. Wayne was reelected mayor in 2019 with 86% of the vote. Ultimately, he felt he was destined to rise to a higher challenge. After a 15-day exploratory committee, on March 28th, 2019, Wayne announced his candidacy for President.

[Elysium wrote the rest of this farewell listening to Say Something by A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera]

Wayne ran on the idea of being a progressive mayor with a platform of wanting to eliminate student debt. Unfortunately for Wayne, the former and current mayors of San Antonio, Denver, Newark, New York, and South Bend all had the same idea. After receiving $43,531 in donations in the first quarter, he was hit with news articles about his campaign failing to pay the staff. After a few sound bites about missing the first debate, the media circuit has been radio silent in regards to Wayne For America.

Just a note here: his campaign website is wayneforusa.com which may have caused confusion. Even his YouTube channel has a link to wayneforamerica.com, which doesn’t actually exist, so it seemed even his staff didn’t know where his web presences was.

With that, Wayne became more of a meme candidate that was still overshadowed by the Bernie Bros, Yang Gang, and Marianne the Orb Queen [Aimin’s note: He did outlast Mike Gravel]. Wayne did resurface in the news when the 3rd quarter filings came out, as a the FEC filings stated he raised a total of $5.00 (notice the decimal point). This inspired Conan O’Brien to make a sketch about why he only raised so little. It was later reported by Waynes campaign that their 3rd quarter was actually $15,312 and it was filed wrong due to a “computer glitch.”

In true But Their Emails! fashion, it is important to state Wayne never wrote an email requesting donations. He never wrote an email criticizing the debates, the other candidates, or that guy in the current office. However, he also didn’t write any email explaining his policies or thoughts on issues such as gun violence, which happened in his neighboring town of Parkland. The main reason for this might be because he never wrote any emails; his entire campaign messaging was via Twitter. He was especially happy that little Eloise cast her vote for an empty jar that had Wayne’s picture next to it.

With the impeachment hearing and debate #5 going on, I’m just going to reuse a graphic I made to make potential t-shirts and place the dates.

Farewell, Wayne Messam. We hardly knew ye.

Art by Elysium

The views and opinions expressed by Elysium do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of But Their Emails! Any content provided by our guest blogger are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything. Elysium did run a ‘Messam For America’ Discord channel and Messam2020 subreddit but has no real association with the former candidate.

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