Farewell John Hickenlooper

At 1:12 PM ET on Thursday, August 15, 2019, John Hickenlooper, former Governor of Colorado, announced he was officially leaving the 2020 Democratic Presidential Primary.

John was a decent candidate with a funny name. He was popular in Colorado and decided to translate his experience as a scientist, a brewer, and a governor into a presidential run. During his months in the race, John made it onto 2 debate stages and had a Winnebago custom painted with his logo.

I did like his colors.

John liked Sundays more than Mondays

Over the 87 days I was tracking him, John sent me a total of 120 emails: 83 to my non-donor account and 37 to my donor account. This averaged out to just under 1 email a day (0.95) if I hadn’t been silly and used two accounts to follow him.

John knew when people were awake.

Most of John’s emails came between the hours of 11 AM and 5 PM ET. Despite living in Colorado (or perhaps because of), he rarely emailed me at any uncomfortable hours. This also meant I rarely woke up to find a message from him waiting in my inbox.

Orange is Friend

In general, John’s staff sent out his emails, though he did sign his name to more than a third of them. His wife, Robin, emailed me a few times, and he had a former chief of staff email me once. Mostly he called me his friend or addressed me by name, and mostly he ended up in my Promotions inbox for his non-donor emails, though 1 did slip through and land in my Spam folder (the first email I received from him).

Trump wasn’t a major focus

John didn’t turn his attention to Trump very often, though when he did, it was calling for impeachment or referencing Trump’s most recent atrocities. He was far more likely to attack Dems than Republicans, calling out his opponents multiple times for offering false hope and impractical solutions.

Not really much variety here.

John spent most of his time asking me for money, though he did wish me a happy 4th of July and talked about beer a little. He liked to ask me if I saw him on various talk shows. The answer was usually no: I don’t have cable.

There was one main focus in John’s campaign.

John was always setting goals to get to the next debate stage. 65,000 donors, polling numbers, 130,000 donors… He squeaked through based on polls to the first debates, but with only around 13,000 donors by the end of June, the 130,000 donors for the fall debates proved to be an insurmountable task.

Overall, John was an older white man who loved brewing beer more than he really loved campaigning. He dropped out of his run with his head held high, coincidentally shortly after hearing about a poll in which he was leading the Colorado Senate race by over 50 points despite not even running at all. He said in his farewell email that he would see me shortly down the line. I suspect I know what his next plans are…

Thank you for your run, John Hickenlooper. Giddy-up.

Artwork by that Discord fella.

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